Sometimes seeking safety will cause you to behave in a way that is out of alignment with your vision and values.
Fear is a powerful motivator – even when you’re not consciously aware that your true motivation is self-preservation.
All day, every day, you are having conversations with yourself.
One of the voices in your mind exists for a single purpose: to keep you safe.
Protection and Self-Preservation: Your Safety-Seeking Self
One popular name for this voice is your “inner mean girl.” I disagree.
She’s not truly mean. Mean-ness is a tactic, but not her true nature.
What’s her true nature? She’s safety-seeking.
And she will do ANYTHING – even be mean to you – to keep you safe.
She’s been around for all of the high-impact events in your life that have shaped your current perception of reality.
She’s endured hurt, rejection, pain, shame, grief, guilt, and loss.
She’s observed all the ways in which you’ve suffered, and her mission is to keep you from experiencing that suffering ever again.
She’s the one who tells you that people will laugh at you, reject you, or insult you if you’re vulnerable and share your story or expose your weaknesses.
She’s the one who tells you that you’re not qualified enough, and that you’re an imposter.
She’s the one who tells you “it’ll never work” when you have a great idea.
I could keep going, but you already know what she sounds like in your head.
Some recommend that you tell her to shut up and sit down. …but why would we be unkind to ourselves?
This voice IS YOU. She’s the you who is scared and safety-seeking.
She’s your Protection Self.
Stop being mean to her – even when she is mean to you.
Stop arguing with her. It’s like engaging in a discussion with a child whose logic is not mature.
Remember that her ONLY GOAL is to protect you and keep you safe. You don’t have to let her lead, but you don’t have to be cruel to her.
Instead, comfort her. Remind her that she is safe and loved. Reassure her that all will be well. Thank her and tell her that you appreciate her input.
Then remind her that your Vision Self is the leader, and that she is not the one in charge.
Protection vs Vision
Your life will dramatically change when your Protection Self becomes subordinate to your Vision Self.
This inner conflict is the ultimate show-down.
It’s Friday Night Lights all day every day in your mind. It’s Mortal Kombat and mixed martial arts in the Octagon.
…but only if you think of your Vision Self and Protection Self as equally matched opponents with even odds.
It doesn’t have to be a fair fight – you get to decide which is the more powerful voice.
Your Protection Self can provide input, but your Vision Self should be so comfortably in-charge that it’s clear there is no challenger for the title of Heavyweight Champion of your mind.
This right-setting of roles will help create an aligned life!
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Grab your magnifying glass and don your fedora – it’s time for some initial alignment investigation.
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